Saturday, December 25, 2010

Lessons In Logic

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate
but if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

Practice makes perfect....
But nobody's perfect....
so why practice?

Enjoy While You Can

How true this is....

Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter,
And winter seems much colder.

I rack my brain for happy thoughts
To put down on my pad.
But lots of things that come to mind
Just make me kind of sad.

Japlish

"JAPLISH" = JAPANESE ENGLISH

1. Very difficult to make up what it is about ?

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Funny Road Signs (2)

More funny road signs found...

How funny is that?

The Basic Laws Of Work

The Basic Laws of Work that everyone should understand!

* A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

* Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

* It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.

* After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

Milik Siapalah Ni?

Aduh....
Jiwang sangat tu....

Tea A "Healthier" Drink Than Water

The researchers recommend people consume three to four cups a day. Drinking three or more cups of tea a day is as good for you as drinking plenty of water and may even have extra health benefits, say researchers. The work in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition dispels the common belief that tea dehydrates.

Boy vs Girl Waking Up

Top rated funny teen boy-girl pictures defining the hilarious schedule of both boy and girl. These funny pictures describe the schedule of a girl and a boy, and the amount of time required to get ready for school or office. Boys behave like silly but they are pretty much quicker than girls. Anyways its just a joke, so hope you'd enjoy....

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Monday, December 20, 2010

Hadiah Untuk Boss

Tak suka pada Boss anda?
Anda rasa tertekan dengan tindakan boss anda?
Boss selalu mencari kesalahan anda?
Bagaimana nak balas dendam terhadap boss anda?

Mudah saja, belikan dia hadiah untuk harijadinya....

APA??? Belikan hadiah?
Itu ke cara untuk membalas dendam?

Betul, tapi bukan sembarangan hadiah.
Belikanlah dia barangan berjenama berikut:
Pasti dia akan memahami....

Life Support

Last night my wife and I were sitting in the living room talking about the many things of life. In between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.

I said to her, "Darling, never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die."

Who Is The Boss?

I suppose you'd read this over and over again, but its still worth reading again as a reminder...

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The Feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The Hands said, "We should be Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

The 7 Ups

1. Wake Up !!
Decide to have a good day.

2. Dress Up !!
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

Husband Store

(Just a joke....)

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Dallas, Texas where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

Driving Styles

One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window.
- Sydney

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn
- Japan

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator. ..
- Boston

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Undressing

How you get undressed reveals your personality. ...

1) throw your clothes all over the place
2) remove each piece of clothing and put it away carefully
3) take off the shirt, and ten minutes later get around to the pants
4) get out of your clothes as quickly as possible
5) take off your rings, earrings, necklace, watch, etcetera before anything else
6) don't have an undressing routine

Answers:

Wife

JUST A BIT OF HUMOUR FOR MEN. EVEN WOMEN CAN FIND SOME HUMOUR IN SOME OF THESE. SO ENJOY....

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Pendayung Sampan

Suatu hari, seorang Professor yang sedang membuat kajian tentang lautan menumpang sebuah sampan. Pendayung sampan itu seorang tua yang begitu pendiam. Professor memang mencari pendayung sampan yang pendiam agar tidak banyak bertanya ketika dia sedang membuat kajian.

Dengan begitu tekun Professor itu membuat kajian. Diambilnya sedikit air laut dengan tabung uji kemudian digoyang-goyang; selepas itu dia menulis sesuatu di dalam buku. Berjam-jam lamanya Professor itu membuat kajian dengan tekun sekali. Pendayung sampan itu mendongak ke langit. Berdasarkan pengalamannya dia berkata di dalam hati, "Hmm. Hari nak hujan."
"OK, semua sudah siap, mari kita balik ke darat" kata Professor itu.

Over 40

People over 40 should be dead. Here's why ...........
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, or even maybe the early 70's probably shouldn't have survived.

Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

Rahsia Bantal

Terdapat beberapa ketegori rahsia bantal dan perwatakan:-

1) Memeluk Bantal
Mereka yang suka memeluk bantal biasanya berjiwa seni. Mereka mempunyai penghargaan yang tinggi terhadap lukisan, muzik dan sastera. Perasaan mereka halus dan jiwa mereka romantik. Kadangkala ada yang boleh membaca peristiwa yang akan berlaku melalui mimpi. Mereka juga sangat prihatin terhadap kesusilaan.

Nama Kampung Pelik

Kampung Imam Lapar
(Petikan dari Berita Harian Online : http://www.bharian.com.my/bharian/articles/ImamLapardiTerengganu_/Article)

Imam Lapar di Terengganu?
Oleh Azman Mahmood
azmanm@bharian.com.my
2010/10/31


Desa di Mukim Telemong berkait rapat kisah pedagang dan perkataan 'laper' atau hafaz

BENARKAH ada peristiwa berlakunya kejadian imam yang lapar di Terengganu sehingga memungkinkan satu tempat diperuntukkan dengan kejadian berkenaan? Apa yang pasti, nama Kampung Imam Lapar di Mukim Telemong, Kuala Berang, memang wujud dan menjadi tanda tanya terutama bagi orang luar dari kampung itu dan luar Terengganu kerana nama kampung itu seperti benar-benar menggambarkan sejarah kampung itu mempunyai imam yang hidupnya sentiasa dalam kelaparan.
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